How To Handle Your Roommate From Hell

Sometimes college students get stuck with bad roommates. Really bad roommates. Roommates that climb out of your nightmares and make themselves at home in your personal space. And then you’re stuck with them for a year.

Here’s the best ways to deal with the top 10 worst roommates ever:

1. The Clinger

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Dealing with someone who wants to do everything with you can be a bit of a tricky situation. On one hand, you don’t want to hurt her feelings. But on the other hand, you want to let her know that you need your personal space sometimes.

I’ve found that the best way to deal with people like this is to sit down with them and have an honest talk about it. This works best when you relax and release any anger you’re feeling towards them beforehand (screaming into a pillow has proved to be an effective method). I also suggest bringing them to the dining hall for this discussion…who doesn’t love food (seriously though)?  Also, being in public will reduce the chance of a major freak out.

You have to tell her nicely that sometimes you need your personal space. Make sure to emphasize that there’s nothing wrong with her; it’s just the way you are (just avoid the words “It’s not you, it’s me”).

For added protection against a violent reaction, I suggest complimenting her on the qualities you really like about her. ALWAYS REMEMBER to reassert that you do need some time to yourself, and maybe even tell them what times those are (club meetings, going out with your friends, meals, etc).

2. Crazy Eyes

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If you have a certifiably crazy roommate, always remember to never give them a reason to hate you. Being nice really isn’t all that difficult, and sometimes that’s all you need to do to ensure that your crazy comrade remains harmless.

Invite them to the dining hall every once in a while. Who cares if they’re putting their spaghetti on their head and everyone is giving you dirty looks? You’re doing something nice.

Of course, if your roommate is continuously creeping you out even when you employ this strategy, you may have to take more drastic measures. Switching rooms may be your best bet if you wanna live past your college years.

3. The Party Animal and 4. Social Butterfly

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These two can be dealt with in the same way, since they both involve your room being a gathering place for all sorts of debauchery.

All you have to do is tell them that some nights it’s OK to “turn down” for studying or sleeping. Explain that some nights you like the room to be your room, not a meeting place. Another good idea would be to suggest chilling in someone else’s room for a change. Most Party Animals and Social Butterflies are people pleasers, and will most likely comply with your wishes. They want everyone to like them, including you.

If they’re not OK with that, you can bring up the issue to your RA, who will probably keep a better eye on your room and break up any parties on the weekdays; even if those parties just include too many people in your room or being too loud.

5. The Significant Other and 6. The Sex Machine

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Both of these roommate situations involve constantly having a third party in your room, which can result in many awkward situations.

Many awkward naked situations.

Just tell your roommate that you’re done seeing his ass when you walk into the room, and you’re tired of the room smelling like sex. This should embarrass him enough to get him to be more careful.

But what if your roommate has no shame? Well that’s easy to deal with too. Tell him to shoot you a text when he’s going to get a little frisky so you know not to come in the room.

You should definitely also include in the roommate agreement that neither of you are to have sex while the other is in the room. If he breaks the agreement (which would be totally gross), then tell your RA.

Being a  tattle tale is kind of a bitch move, but its better than being a first hand witness to your roommate’s sexcapades. I mean, unless you’re into that.

7. The Loner

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Dealing with a loner sucks because you hardly get a chance to speak to him, let alone try to figure out how you two can inhabit the same space without feeling like complete and total strangers.

There are two approaches to dealing with a loner: you can either completely ignore him or try to befriend him.

The second choice is probably preferable, but it is definitely harder to achieve–trying to get close to a loner is like trying to get close to a baby deer.  They spook easy. I would start small, by making small talk and figuring out what he likes. Maybe watch his favorite TV show together. If that goes well, invite him out to eat every once in a while, and then maybe introduce him to one of your friends.

It takes loners a long time to become acclimated to new people and new surroundings, and unfortunately sometimes it just doesn’t happen. Remember to always be nice to them, no matter if they become your friend or not, because often loners are the way they are because something shitty has happened to them in their past.

8. The Mess and The Stinker

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Neither of these roommates have their shit together. And they’re seriously disgusting.

The best way to deal with them is to straight up tell them how gross they are. Of course, you probably shouldn’t say it like that, but you have to be honest or they won’t get it.

Maybe he doesn’t know he smells like shit, maybe she doesn’t realize that her side of the room looks like a bomb exploded in it. Maybe that’s the way they were raised. Regardless, you HAVE to tell them that it’s just not gonna fly because you don’t want to live in a pig pen.

As always, if they don’t make an attempt to clean themselves or the room up, you can always go to your RA.

10. The Klepto

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Dealing with someone who steals your shit can be almost impossible. Once you catch her taking or using your shit, you might feel the urge to punch her in the face. That is not the way to deal with the problem.

If you catch your roommate stealing or using any of your things (money, jewelry, electronics, toothbrushes, deodorant, you name it) you need to tell them that it’s not OK. They’ll either apologize, or deny it.

Either way, you should tell your RA about it. That way, if it happens again you can prove that it wasn’t just a one time thing, but an ongoing issue. They’ll probably remove your sneaky roommate from your room and you can live happily ever after.

How have you dealt with horrible roommates in the past?